They

have sought

to keep us sick

and distracted

burning our candles

at both ends while never

attending to wicks

short and tempered

We

ran up

and smashing

the round, red button

climbed the cage up high

falling down attempting to fly

like a baby bird out of the nest free falling

we needed a full recharge, reset and rest

If

tended

to properly

passionately

even a minute seed

sprouts a root system

splitting a mighty boulder’s bubble

into a now mere pile of dusty rubble

Once

planted

nourished

& cultivated

a simple seedling

sprouts a root system

dividing the boulder now split and crushed

split in two, hushed, now rubble & dust

I’m

now

preparing

wheels turning

gears are jamming

up to quite shattering

the combination lock step

socially channeling artificials

I’m

now

preparing

wheels turning

gears are jamming

up to quite shattering

the combination lock step

of social medias and artificials

I’m

now

preparing

with wheels turning,

gears jamming, churning

shattering mass happenings

disturbing combination lock steps

of socially channeling artificial hangings

Low

hanging

frequencies,

recent attacks

battered and fried,

baked and numbed

never fruitful shakedowns

multiplying quaking take downs

My

misfit

preschool

presence seen

as a disturbance

by the sheepish rulers

leaving me locked in the dark

their flock afraid of my divine spark

The

exact day

I said goodbye

stopped worshiping

materialism in all forms

my empath’s inner warrior

gave me a bear hug, a kiss on the lips,

sounded a barbaric yawp far and wide

I must

confess having

stood the test that I

take one drink each week

to this day there’s a reason

for testing resistance+resilience

every introduction remains untarnished

demonizing & stigmatizing not in my name

I

now know I’m in full control

each day so I leave you now

as if to say I delight in my knowing

now I’ve beaten the spell and cast aside

all assumptions replacing misguidance

wholehearted in body, mind, and soul

full of gumption in my control

I

refuse

to hang my head low

demonizing stigmatizing

counting steps swollen

with damning language

I am no alcoholic nor am I dependent

on any substance or reality bent

Roads

winding

not binding

demonizing

never reminding

the key to recovery

not riddled in labeling

demonizing and downtrodden

Having

stood the test

daily celebrating

my recovery remission

never demonizing my name

introductions now lacking blame

I am not who I was defined by booze

and substance abuse shame and misuse

I

now

allow myself

to take a drink

just once a week

this little trick testing me

not denying, but building upon

my own reliance and strength and recovery

As

of now

in full remission

no claim to blame

my name no labels do I desire

no demons nor reasons for shame

laying kindling on the funeral pyres

left unlocked, unnamed sans desires

The

innate

natural

resilient kudzu

spraying poisons

only temporary kills it

becoming stronger, more resistant

poisoning water towers, killing flowers

As

claircognisance

allowance of defiance

relishes in guidance and reliance

a science born and bred on full defiance

a fiancé in need of notions and nurture

natural nothings and what me nots knowing

known not the will to perceive even believe

I was

intentionally

locked in the dark

eaten feces disguised

as hershey’s hugs and kisses

bullied and bloodied, spat upon

family friends fiends molested me

shaping a home, a life worth escaping

Dr. D.

peered

down at me

posed a thought

a curious whatnot

possibly postulating

saying sheer imagination alone

doesn’t define my mind nor my home

My

sis and I

saw santa

high in the sky

when I was three

quite beyond belief

not a sound in the air

just a red nose up there

3

of us

know how

tink’s pixie dust

let’s us fly as kids

across the scattered skies

we also know flying amidst

quite high above the cities below

There

just beyond

the stars a place

of never bugs yonder

where Indians live, love, escape

when I woke I realized it was me

all along without woe and full of wonder

floating the hallways while they slumbered

All

night long, no early dawn

bursting bright during night

alike above is so below we look

my mouth dropped wide as I shook

flowing by each arm outstretched

push and pulling forward motion

momentum gaining another notion

Past

present

and future

don’t even exist

all we have is now

in this moment already gone

before we know it as time is cyclical

nothing is linear and there are no rules

I’m

hell bent

heaven sent

dark yet light

most dim of wit and lie

brighter hosts heavenly ghosts

know the needs of the many

outweigh the needs of the few

Now

rotten

and forgotten

an amalgam of sorts

the fiery glint meant for slaughter

a thief for hire hiding among the mire

as electric currency flows down the wire

this urgent need dispels forgotten greeds

Yes

I’m odd

quite odd

an oddity of full measure

a rarity to some, a hidden treasure

upon my own seizures circumspections

circumcizing circumstances conjecture

circumventing all body cavity inspections

I

was

conceived

in Eden green

born and bred sight unseen

8 not 9 simmered and baked

wandering eye, four-eyed mistake

in all 4 corners earth shook+quaked

My

mother

delighted

by my birth

with glee indeed

clipped my wings

but they grew back

just in time for their attack

I

couldn’t

wait while

they held me back

knowing their very nature

under attack falling freely

never needing another wink

I knew the time came reeling kneeling

I

brought

no sword

but a rock

I’d thrown

in a previous life

unknown to most I bade

Goliath a cyclops of sorts

1 eye

stricken

upon a blunt

and deadly force

he towered over us

then lowered and cowered

as blood poured and showered

my countenance gave me heaven sense

A

2nd coming

goliath I think?

wandering eyes fully aware

celebrating my faults, some still stare

poking fun at my third eye as I surmise

by design of what is now kingdom come

soon we praise and welcome the 2nd son

Body

surfing

imagination

tides of metaphysical

intellectual strides streams

of collective consciousness

not reserved only for Christian’s hides

in this dude Christ Consciousness abides

We

chase

materialism

the 7 deadly sins

fuel the American Dream

something sinister breeding

empty hearts of gluttony and greed

nothing but wastelands of useless need

I

connect

dots moving

forward while

bated breath anxiety

stirs up rhythms in spite of me

rhymes resembling remembrance

falling silent in wily whispers of reverence

I

possess

infectious

creative energy

culminating within

my wellspring portals

of spiritually sound wellness

able to exist in two places at once

A

5 sec

stricken

amateur diagnosis

never held a chance

in imprisoning my intuition

imagination and intellectual property

my psychic faculties left in full fervor

Our

stigmas

deal out

mind control elixirs

resembling free thinking

while bending innate willing

crying out coincidence and madness

superstitious and massive zombie sadness

The

point

of going

to therapy

is to eventually

move on wholeheartedly

becoming your own confidant

your own mastered support savant

My

tongue bit

gut sucked

chest out stoic

then I fell through

the trap door that was

under the rug hiding all

of the secrets for far too long

I

fell deep

down fleeting

frost bit chilling

ran my spine down

then up thermals rising

inside the iceberg of memory

upside down depths forgotten and free

I find

solace

that Christ

disappeared

curiously schooling

top class honors for 18 yrs

returning knowing that thought

and spirit soul for expansion necessary

We

barely

delivered

bare, barred

devoid instants

infants skating

over a trap door

reluctant and rusty

Even

K-12

partake

provoking

always stoking

turning fire inwards

sealing souls stealing

a fate destroying others

w/o

remorseful

regretfully ruined

renegades denied

lights of crystal clear compassion

fearlessly faltering, gluttonous envy

forever fleeting gravity grieving, mongering

malicious martyr fearless warring warnings

The

US govt

births and breeds

the very villains

it promises US

It wills to deliver us from

their ultimate evils hatred

and utter disregard for goodness

The

bokeh blur

applies to shadows

with the sun’s ray casting

as the primary light source

as each of the leaves filters

of the sunlight touching down

mimicking a camera’s iris blades

If

we dare

to combine

our darkness

with our light

we become whole

no need to dampen

with oneness achieved

It is

time to set

the record straight

there is no such thing

as madness nor genius

the fascination of dividing

everything into opposing forces

distractions set to dissolve oneness

Now

I leave you

in the shadows

remaing shallow tempting

attempts and threats, no regrets

of control through denial-based systems

minding manners of soulless threats off key

no need for promoting growth or flowering

Even

division

mathematics

remain as one

of the most unnatural

of operations as many

theorems and equations

require union not divisiveness

Some

conclude

connections

can only be seen

through hindsight

would you like to know

how to connect the dots

moving forward? I’ll show you

It’s

not what

we think, see or do

it’s the remembrance

of our activated intuition

that divine spark of knowing

what we’ve been hiding all along

in plain sight just waiting to strike!

It’s

not what

we think anymore

it’s what we’ve known

all along as our third eyes

intercept lies of every triangulated

transmission of splintered shard remission

future flights a mirrored duality assembling

We

possess

collective means

to rewrite the script

to fully erase and eradicate

poverty stricken societies flipping

switches overnight, we fight over anything

we will need filling the pot of gloated greed

It’s a

not what

you think it is

it's everything

you already knew

since before birth

coded quietly in your

DNA dynamite all along

I’ve

proven

brain gains

through daily

brain games that

mindfulness matters

we know now puzzles woven

through mending mental bridges

I was

shielded

temporarily

from the bully boys

above on the pool deck

while bobbing deeply

down at the bottom

of the deep end down down

I’ve

been

ringing bells

knocking doors

it was me all along

my future self crossing over

projecting onto my present tense

far beyond any stricken seventh sense

My

ultimate

end game goal

in seeing a therapist

was to hone my skills, be my own

eventually concluding by moving on

firing each other becoming strangers

my own best choice for grounded sanity

My

end game

goal in seeking

the right therapist

was honing my skills

abiding in conclusion

upon graduating their care

seeking evolution of my former self

He

can only

fully understand

the whole through

the voices and eyes

of the majestic many

those choosing to see

past their own blindness

I’m

a believer

a supporter

of wanderering

wild walkabouts

spiritual and mystical

guided meditations

of aboriginal dreamtime

I’m a

surf & drag

transworld

thrasher mag

starlog & comic

tiamat & balrogs

heavy metal rager

bts & ad&d collector

The

mostly

rewarding

commentary

my sister ever

shared with me

was she will never

ever understand me

My own

professional

career began

when our sky diving

junkie graphic design chair

received a faxed query

from a humbly talented

broadcast design art dept

I

guess

I forgot

to mention

my graduation

was hanging

by a thread that

ahd been unraveling

I’d

never trade

a moment spent

arising hours before

the breaks of dawns

on location film shoots

with genius creative misfits

whose eyes still twinkle with every tear

The

struggle

ends when

understood

distractions

we no longer know

need not be in power

as they so desire to be

I’ve

gleamed

by the light

I carry into the depths

under the creaky, reluctant

living room trap door proves

thievery, while necessary, in the end

all fall hard on and upon their own stiletto

the

struggle

ends when

understood

distractions

we no longer know

need not be in power

as they so desire to be

The

struggle

ends when

understood distractions

no longer serve our knowings

external needs not be in power

through becoming our own best choice

answers my call to action as they so desire

I laid

witness

to my own

unaltered beauty

in Michelangelo’s

David and da Vinci's

intact Vitruvian manhood

I wasn’t different like all the others

in

order to fully

understand spirituality

and his purpose here on earth

he would seek out every type of teacher

as far as he could travel on foot eagerly

seeking, knowing he must first understand

the whole through many raising every truth

I

chose

not to strike

even though he might

I was so full with strife

my brain boiling ablaze

a barrage of hazed hatred

never caught scurrying in a maze

I

awoke

in tears

about to strike

to strangle, mangle

about to take his life

a cur scratching salaciously

defiled in chills the kill of thrills

Be

advised

stay aware

beware the post

I’ve installed a sign

that warns the all the people

not ready to see, witnessing uncertain

high-voltage estranging shock therapies

You’re

ill advised

lobotomized laborers

blindly guarding falsehoods

guardians of malicious misery

empty minds maligned and bare

seeing things for not what they are

a high-voltage danger shock therapy

A

book

a ruse

a three-act play

a feathered bird thrust upon the stage

chicken, scared to say anything resembling

any truths as its beak trembling remembers

it will soon be jerky smoked and braised

I

now breathe

enjoying the silence

mindfully celebrating my solitude

in those moments of quiet reflection

our connection to everything is uncertain

but unbreakable in those divine reflections

we are never alone or face divine rejection

In

regard

to the tango

of entanglement

amidst madness and genius

one cannot exist without the other

for upon further inspection they are one

never to fear or to blame ‘til kingdom come