33 Years (in progress)

Thirty-three years ago I opened Adobe Illustrator for the first time at University of Georgia’s graphic design department’s Macintosh computer lab. We were tasked with designing our logo in Professor Ronald Arnholm’s Typography course. I designed my Vinson logo — seen above in my website’s masthead — in ten minutes. I saw it in my mind and then began typing in v-i-n on top and s-o-n on the bottom. What I loved was the immediate nod to the yin and yang with the dot over the lowercase letter i and the inner dot of the letter o. I was naturally drawn to the Futura font family for its sans serif, geometric qualities. It was the first font choice I made. Futura was designed by Paul Renner in 1927. It was released by Bauersche Gießerei foundry in Germany, founded in 1837. My logo has two dots and seven pieces, Futura was born in 1927, and The Bat-Man arrived in Detective Comics issue number 27. That’s my lucky number. My universal number is 3. 3 to the 3rd power is 27. Call it fate, I guess, or just three cool synchronicities.


“Professor Arnholm stopped by to check in on my logo’s progress. Quite calmly he leaned in and observed my work. He paused and then said, ‘that mark will last a long time.’ Longevity is one of the primary goals of graphic design communication. It’s also the toughest one to accomplish. This went down in history as my most treasured moment in my entire fine art and graphic design career that began when I was twelve painting and selling $100 watercolors for family friends.

By the time I was sixteen, I was designing logos for local companies, illustrating restaurant mascots, rendering technical illustrations for amusement park rides, and drawing more than 500 caricatures of my high school senior class, famous actors and comedians, neighborhood swim teams, and even my Mom’s tennis team.

I love that Futura was released in 1927. As most of my colleagues know is that twenty-seven is my lucky number. It’s also the Detective Comics issue number that introduced us to ‘The Bat-Man’ in 1939. You could say that DC is in my blood. Heck, my boss at TWC’s last name was Booth…get it? Phone booth…Superman?

Fun fact: The Weather Channel owned the first Quantel Paintbox sold in the Americas with serial number one. It’s now in the Smithsonian Institution. The first year on-air, TWC’s Art Department won more BDA Awards than anyone else in the country. They even garnered an additional award for winning more than anyone else. I was so lucky to become a small part of the Art Department’s legacy. ET and I are still good friends today.

I worked for TWC full time twice and as a contractor and freelancer many times. They even followed me to Outpost Pictures and Artifact Design for a total of 14 years of creative collaborations. My teammates at The Weather Channel gifted me a special Superman poster scribbled in silver with best wishes when I left to join Artifact Design. My daughter calls me Batman. Edgar Allan Poe and I are birthday twins, and his creation of the Detective genre directly influenced Batman.

In order to get buy in from The Weather Channel Engineering Department I knew I needed to not speak, but fully understand their technical language. When we, as artists, used the twc Quantel PaintBoxes we didn’t have to really understand anything about the minutae of broadcast terminology such as fields, 3:2 pulldown, etc.

Luckily a little startup came along called Toolfarm in San Francisco at just the right moment in 1999. They sold After Effects plug-ins and desktop creative software for Macintosh like Commotion. They were our one stop shop for everything we needed to transition from two Quantel PaintBoxes and two Discreet Flints to our own desktop workstations.

However, TWC Engineering got involved and we ended up building out the hardware with a local Atlanta reseller, Video Central. They provided two Blue and White PowerMac G3s each equipped with a Targa 2000 SDX video I/O card, a 144GB Rorke Data striped array, and ICE accelerator cards for After Effects. The systems always ran far too hot with those two double layered PCI cards so we had to keep the side doors open in order not to overheat. Also the video arrays were highly unstable which was more than likely an issue with the ATTO cards.

One little set of VHS tapes caught my eye, ‘Masters of Visual Effects’ training videos with industry pros like Ron Brinkman who literally wrote the book on digital compositing, and co-founded Nothing Real that brought us the compositing and effects software Shake. Once I studied up on the terminology and put it into action I caught the eye of the Engineering department head who appeared pleased.

My plan had worked, and eventually I found a way to unite multiple departments at TWC, including our Design Group, Facilities, Engineering, and even as far up the food chain as the VP of Production. Our little art department had grown, and our skillsets along with it. I was my Design Director’s right hand man and leader of the Plugged-In workgroup. We researched and evaluated all software and hardware for each year’s capital and monthly expenditures.”


As students we got to ride the first wave of what would soon become the desktop revolution takeover in the world of print. But these were just the first few baby steps. Keep in mind that this was back in the early to mid-90s when Photoshop didn’t even have layers yet. They weren’t introduced until version 3. I only used 2% of Illustrator’s capabilities primarily to design iconography and logotypes. I began with napkin sketches and then hopped into Illustrator laying down basic shapes. Then I would test drive different fonts looking for just the right personality for the mark’s identity. Next I would outline the fonts and take them into the sculpting phase with the pen tool. I used Pathfinder extensively for cleanup. Suddenly I lost my focus as a fax machine started humming and screeching in the recesses of my mind. I was back at UGA meeting with Professor Williams, avid skydiver and old-school stone letterer, as he read the facsimile message. Little did I know my fate would soon be sealed.

That seemingly unimportant faxed message from The Weather Channel was about to rock my world. Their friendship with UGA’s graphic design school ran deep. Each year they reached out requesting that Professor Williams, chair of the Graphic Design Department, to send his top students to interview for what would prove to be a job opportunity of a lifetime. Two of us made the trek to Atlanta to interview for the designer position in their Art Department. All I could focus on during my drive to Atlanta was why in the world would I want to work at a broadcast network, especially The Weather Channel? The Design Director of the on-air Art Department met the two of us at the door welcoming us into their unfamiliar world of broadcast television. We were in for a real treat. With each introduction I began to feel a shift in my mind. By the time we made the final round meeting up with the print designer, I felt at home. These were my people, and a big kahuna-sized tidal wave was about to drop me into the barrel.

Why did I take the job with the weather weenies? Two things: the people and the toys. We were a motley mix of artists and designers working four day ten hour shifts while sharing two Quantel PaintBoxes. Painting with light on a television screen was such a life-changing experience that immediately felt so familiar taking me back to when I was eleven. Back in 1983 my parents bought me a Commodore 64. My first digital artwork painted and plotted pixel by pixel with the arrow keys was a portrait of Indiana Jones from Raiders of the Lost Ark, my favorite film of all time. Quite honestly, it was watching their artists giving us a demo of those two blackmagic boxes of digital alchemy that sealed the deal for me. They also had a little Mac in the corner running Photoshop, my secret weapon that gave me access to building design elements just as I did in college. It was the perfect companion to Harriet.

By the mid-90s Photoshop finally gained layers with version 3. I’d apply effects on various elements that I sent to the PaintBoxes for final animation and compositing. My crew mates inquired how did I achieve a particular look or style. Photoshop, of course. Up to that point most of the veteran artists had only used it for camera ready artwork ingest. While most of the team welcomed my curious stylings, there was one that didn’t take too nicely to me. I was half their age, cocky for sure, and new nothing about broadcast except to question everything. I still remember designing my first video title card for a segment called “Rose Basics.” Rose was set in Helvetica Bold tracked tightly with each character kissing the next. Basics was set in lowercase Snell Roundhand going against the guidance of one of my new teammates. They said that they stayed away from serif fonts because they were too thin for television. I proved them wrong and also learned a little trick. Blur the text just a touch and it stopped ringing on the screen.

Somehow that experience gave me such a rush of childhood memories, I felt like it was almost Christmas morning. During my drive back to Athens I couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. I was offered the job just a day or two later, passed the drug test, and began packing up. I moved on Christmas day 1995 into my Vinings apartment in Atlanta located at the top of Overlook above Vinings Village and New York Pizza that made the biggest, tastiest pizzas I’d every eaten. There was also a sushi restaurant called Orient Express, quite fitting because our table was just twenty feet from the train tracks. Not a retired line, either. It was active and so loud when the trains would roll by every hour or so each afternoon. Believe it or not it was actually kind of charming albeit deafening, too.

Just around the time I got out of college and started working at TWC there was another desktop revolution coming hard and fast. Compositing and visual effects, video and film, would be forever changed moving the primary tools from $100,000+ black box Quantel and SGI workstations to small, adept Rebel Mac units popping up everywhere. I spent two years hopping on and off of our two PaintBoxes and one tiny little Mac in the corner running Photoshop for camera art input and the Gateway to our Meteorlogy department’s on-air system. Our art department’s artists and designers shared these two PaintBoxes for years. The version I learned was called “Harriet.” She had 383 frames in a Ramcorder for immediate access.

One afternoon I visited one of the senior designers on the fifth floor. He showed me the newest addition to our creative arsenal: two SGI workstations running the same software that ILM used for Jurassic Park. I asked my buddy what it would take to be able to hop onto these two new systems, and he looked at me and bluntly offered this advice: “simple, read the manual.” So I read the manual in one night. I was mesmerized at the particle systems, lights, and animation curves. I couldn’t put the manual down until I read the last page. That next morning I got to work. About a week or two later I was tasked to train another artist on the Flint so we could handle all of the final compositing for the Pittard Sullivan brand redesign. This move allowed us to keep the finishing in house and also keep the cost way down.

I spent about sixteen months with the two Discreet Logic Flints and SoftImage3D Extreme. A handful of us were fortunate enough to travel to Tennessee to Marshall Graphics Systems to learn SoftImage. In order to move past the limitations and managing the shifts it took for our eight artists we needed a new solution beyond these two I made the first call of many to a new company called Toolfarm in San Francisco, founded in 1999. Perfect timing was an understatement. We blazed the trail even ahead of our own engineers knowing full well that the future was moving in a seismic shift to off-the-shelf solutions loaded up on modest Macintoshes.

We modeled our own band of rebels based on Industrial Light and Magic’s creative desktop gear like Electric Image Animation System, After Effects, Photoshop, Commotion, and Puffin Designs plugins like Knoll Lens Flare Pro for AE, EIAS, and Photoshop. There were also two other sets by Puffin, Composite Wizard and Image Lounge.

In order to get our engineers on board with our radical plans my first step was solving the import and export of Digi-Beta footage to and from the Macs. We also needed true engineer-grade monitoring. It didn’t take long to find the solution. One afternoon, after wrapping up a session on the Flint for a brand redesign with Pittard Sullivan, I called Grant Petty at Digital Voodoo in Victoria, Australia. I inquired about his D1 Desktop for After Effects running on Apple’s Macintoshes. We chatted it up for half an hour. Luckily I didn’t get the phone bill. :) A year or two passed when Grant left the company he founded to start Blackmagic Design that has redefined the entire broadcast and post production industry. I used their DeckLink hardware for video monitoring and input in my homegrown studio. I was also one of their first customer features on their website.

When we built the first two Mac-daddy workstations that cost in total far less than the PaintBox or Flint, we equipped them with hardware acceleration PCI boards to speed up rendering in After Effects and Commotion. The company was called ICE, and I was their poster child in a half dozen magazines and a featured artist on their demo reel. I remember the day they sent me a rather pricey gift for my contributions to their marketing campaigns. A huge box arrived early one day with my name on it. I excitedly opened it up revealing my own ICE card and all of the ICE software. My boss had no problem with me taking their gift home to my studio. I even got to travel to New York for a video interview with ICE sharing my secret After Effects weapon for their demo reel. As time went on it became quite clear that eventually all twelve broadcast designers needed access to the same powerful hardware and software gear. Then something happened out of left field. I was invited to have breakfast with the folks at ICE.

I was being actively recruited by the folks at Integrated Computing Engines (ICE) to join their team as a traveling demo artist. I couldn’t resist the opportunity that not only doubled my salary at The Weather Channel, but gave me freedom to continue running my own creative studio. Next I was approached by Digital Voodoo who inquired if I would be interested in being their worldwide support specialist. It was a part time gig for just a few hours a week so I signed on for eighteen months. I helped out primarily for phone support and also assisted at trade shows. I met my future business partner, Chris, at Outpost Pictures when he called the support number one afternoon and I answered. He said it was pretty clear that he knew a bit more than I did. Funny guy.

A few years passed and before I knew it I was consulting for Toolfarm while running my own animation and design home studio. They connected me with numerous vendors and clients including Zax Dow, Mike Skibra, Ted and Shemane Nugent, the kind folks at RealViz and Adobe. I ended up going on the road with both RealViz once at the University of Seattle, WA and Adobe numerous times at NAB, Siggraph, and at Savannah College of Art & Design in Savannah, Georgia, where I was a student from 1991–1993 for all of my foundation courses. After my showing off my reel and running through the After Effects presentation I met two professors that gave me quite a compliment. They asked if I would like to become a professor at SCAD. I don’t have a Masters degree, but they said no worries, and that I could get it while a was teaching.

I ended up turning down SCAD, but I did make quite a few connections in Atlanta with folks like Sterling Ledet who gave me numerous opportunities to teach After Effects, DVD Studio Pro, and Final Cut Pro to classes ranging from 3–5 and up to a dozen students at a time as was the case for CNN’s creative group. I enjoyed teaching so much that I built out customized training courses for folks at Georgia Pacific Television, the video production team at Philips Arena, New England Sports Network, The Weather Channel, The Weather Channel Latin America, and Ted Nugent’s wife, Shemane.

Adobe’s ecosystem was always at the heart of everything I taught. However, when Apple bought a video editing program from MacroMedia that became Final Cut Pro, all bets were off with Premiere. How ironic that Adobe bought MacroMedia in 2005, but it was seven years too late. Due to a highly restrained workflow and instabilities we switched to Final Cut Pro 1.2.5 at TWC about a month after we had first implemented those two Blue and White PowerMac G3s I mentioned above. Final Cut Pro was stable right out of the gate. Premiere, not so much, like ever.


Question Everything

I’ve never had all the answers. That’s why I question everything. Even if I could have all the answers, that sure would take all the fun out of life now wouldn’t it? I wake each morning and lay my head down each night with one thing on my mind: stay curious. Once we understand that the term child and adult don’t really mean anything, as is age only a number, we allow ourselves to sever their connection blinding us from our soul’s purpose. We aren’t here to be catalogued and easily referenced. Instead, we are here to unravel the mysteries that have stumped science, religion, and philosophy for centuries. Welcoming mysticism and Kabbalah, teachings kept divided from the core religions. The leaders edited out nearly everything in regards to our inner temples, that God is not somewhere up there, rather within each of us at our very heart, gut, mind, and soul centers. Divinity lives within all of us.

These men retooled the narrative giving a more grounded, earthly understanding of their version of the big picture. Religion would call it God’s plan for us that was always focused on out there, up there or even down there if you lived a sinful life never asking for forgiveness of evil ways. The truth is that there is no destination when we die, only a transition into pure, formless energy full of collective memory fueled with the childlike curiosity that faded as we aged into senility. I began rewiring and untying my own memories knotted and frayed, most connections barely holding on by a quarter millimeter cobweb. So frail yet after I dusted them off I realized these connections were not flimsy webs, they were neurons firing at full capacity once I requested access to what had been sent to the deep recesses of my mind.

I was never very comfortable in this world. So, after 50 years, I decided to build my own where everything connects to everything else just as my friend Leo foretold. It embraced all of nature’s creatures. I specifically sought out to befriend squirrels in my Pa’s memory. I am now very careful never to step on anything as I stroll along the path every morning, even ants and earthworms as they scurry across my way on the Swamp Rabbit. I called every squirrel “JoJo.” Pa used to call them “Joe.” They would hop onto his lap as he gifted them peanuts. They didn’t just grab the peanut and run back to the tree to shuck it either. They sat quite comfortably on his shoulder, even in his lap with no fear. I noticed immediately after I befriended my first “JoJo” that all the other squirrels followed suit. I don’t mean just the squirrels in the local vicinity of my first befriending. Everywhere no matter how far and wide the distance.

Miles away from that handshake encounter with “JoJo,” the trail squirrels never scurried away from me anymore. It’s as if morphic resonance is real. Well I’ve repeated this test with other animals. Guess what? Now animals both in the ground and even in the air go out of their way to welcome me into their precious portion of the world. One of the funniest things I’ve seen is that people’s dogs that they’re walking as they pass by me so many times the dogs pull away from their people to try to get to me. It’s as if I’ve been given some sort of special animal magnetism, some sort of charismatic trick. But there’s no trick here at all. It’s all just as true as granddad‘s center of gravity physics trick that looks completely impossible, but is such an easy way to share the spectacle of balancing a fork and spoon on a toothpick sitting on the very edge of a curved edge glass. We must see in order to believe, but not always.

Grandad’s trick looked impossible every time. How could Pa invite his little furry friends and feed them peanuts? I think it has a lot to do with understanding and seeing what is unseen. Understanding how everything is connected to everything else. There’s an invisible force of attraction between everything. We are just beginning to remember what we’ve known for centures, that we must believe in the unseen in order to understand our own innate superpowers. I have even acquired, more accurately awakened, my psychic abilities within my own temple. Everything on this website that I talk about most call it mumbo-jumbo let me tell you something. I will never ask for you to believe me or not, but I will tell you it’s all true no matter what you believe. I’m not here to open your eyes to anything. I’m just here to share how I have opened my own.

Once I requested access, the very next morning my eyes, my ears, and even tingling psychic abilities were beginning to heat up and take shape. Curiosity is not only for the cat or even us as children. It took me half a century to restart my own reality. Yet this time around, I’m not the crazy one. Rather, I consider myself quite sane as does my mental and physical health care team. There is so much more to life than what appears right in front of our faces. Beyond the distractions, beyond the anxieties lives a world where connection in the form of a superposition, possibly even a singularity, that lies at the heart of everything. Never lose that yearning quest for knowledge only found through direct experience. Testing a hypothesis in the lab never yields pure results. The experiment must be given a soul, a breath, a chance to grow beyond its original postulate outside in the sun surrounded by nature.


Our Transition is Complete: Hello Autograph

Thank you Maxon…hello Autograph. Not only free, but far better equipped than Adobe After Effects ever was and ever will be. After 30 years using, testing, and evangelizing AE with Adobe on the road at SCAD, NAB, and Siggraph there was a rift in the Force. The first thing I noticed after being on the beta team for a bit was that so many core issues always fell through the cracks. I’m talking about the way AE handled alpha channels, mattes, etc. I remember bringing up the topic of unifying how AE handles mattes, alphas, anything that could be piped in to alter a layer’s transparency. Andrew Kramer even chimed in seeing it as a viable idea, but it never went anywhere during my tenure on the beta team. Over a decade later they finally added it in the most elegant way possible, the way we had discussed it to begin with nearly a dozen years before. I guess they were too busy tweaking the rounded corners and overly-bolded text for the Adobe logo/not logo. Call it a middle-aged crisis, but it was far more serious than that.

Adobe was in free fall having an identity crisis as Blackmagic Design’s DaVinci Resolve killed Premiere, Affinity Photo killed Photoshop, Affinity Designer killed Illustrator, and Affinity Publisher killed InDesign. Well, not really killed, maimed is more like it. We waited…and waited with bated breath. We tried AE alternatives like Fusion and Blender’s compositing nodes, but motion design was missing in these compositing-centric fare. Things remained quiet for a while longer. Then we saw it: the light at the end of the tunnel. Adobe, distracted by its own greedy bloodlust, never saw it coming. The light got exponentially brighter by the second. It wasn’t some newly tooled Adobe abomination. Instead it was another train. A faster, stronger technology in the form of Autograph. Cue The Six Million Dollar Man music. I finally feel like we have access to a modernized version of Discreet Logic’s Flint/Flame/Inferno. I do miss Discreet’s desktop reels. It gave off a near tactile vibe of shuffling frames like a deck of cards. Magical.

“We waited…and waited with bated breath. We tried AE alternatives like Fusion and the like, but motion design was missing in the compositing-centric fare. Things remained quiet for a while longer. Then we saw it: the light at the end of the tunnel. Adobe never saw it coming. The light got exponentially brighter by the second. It wasn’t some newly tooled Adobe abomination. Instead it was another train. A faster, stronger, better app in the form of Autograph. Cue The Six Million Dollar Man theme music. Oh snap! It also fits into the Maxon One ecosystem.”


Adobe was never interested in core functionality. They kept adding sand bags to their failing levees. During the beta cycles we spent more time on the newly introduced dark mode than those discussions about matting I mentioned above. Instead they would add new features that really weren’t all that special. Features like “Brainstorm” that was really just a lazy way to approach alternative designs by adding randomized seeds creating gallery-style versions for the user to choose from. Then at one point they targeted heavy render effects adding a GPU rendering capability, but only for a handful of effects like Gaussian Blur.

I’d much rather use a system for compositing that has a solid, well rounded foundation. Then build on top of that. However, After Effects became bloated, unstable, and honestly during the post-CC years a complete train wreck. RAM Preview should have died decades ago yet it still hasn’t graduated beyond disk caching and the necessity to pre-render elements as we go when building complicated shots beyond ten layers to keep the process speedy. When I gave demos for conference attendees or my students I’d always focus on sharing how my comps actually got faster as I neared completion. Never grinding to a halt nor slowed to a snail’s pace, as was clear when I inherited someone’s project that was one comp with hundreds of layers and no precomps.

No true node graph ever saw the light of day either. There were third party versions of node view that barely scratched the surface of nodal compositing. Then there’s all of the legacy code riddled with expiring technology contracts built upon a prehistoric house of cards-style construction. We, as users, were even warned not to use older versions of AE due to these outdated contracts with third party technologies. Then there was Adobe deciding to not support all of the legacy QuickTime and other 32-bit output formats. Thankfully DaVinci Resolve elegantly resolves that issue. Just another good reason to ditch the mud hut conglomerate. Adobe bought it, stuck a “Guaranteed” sticker on the box, and sold it en masse. “Why would someone put a guarantee on a box? “Because they know all they sold you was a guaranteed piece of shit.” – Chris Farley as Tommy Boy, 1995.

The day I received an email from Adobe containing a questionnaire as to how they should begin charging monthly for the software was judgment day. Having been selected in the top ten during one of their Prerelease cycles felt great. Fast-forward a decade and Adobe closed the door on me. No more testing, and even ignored when I approached them to join the AE group. Adobe was different. I even witnessed feature requests that I had made over 13 years ago being touted by Adobe as new improvements. I never really understood why it took so long to add what I would call core fundamentals. Missing node view is still baffling.

They never seemed interested in adding a true nodal interface. I have a feeling it was too difficult to overhaul a system based solely on layers in vertical stacks to add it. So, as with many other user requests that never saw the light of day, Adobe left it to the third-party community to address their own software’s limitations. Then there was that one feature request that I borrowed from ElectricImage called Auto-keyframe. Something to me that seemed so simple to implement lived up to being the most confusing and “worst feature” according to their own product manager. So yeah, Auto-keyframe was my fault. But oh well…I haven’t used AE for awhile now. I shifted my focus to Affinity, Resolve, and Blender.

Now the circle is complete with Autograph. Making it free reminded me of the passionate folks behind Red Giant and Cinema4D. At first glance the first thing I realize is that Autograph reminds me more of a Flint, Flame or Inferno than AE. While the AE team has added 3D features, there are still workflow issues that remain leaving it in a state of disillusion and confusion. Autograph is a truly integrated system keeping broadcast designers and visual effects artists directly aligned with its core values and principles. I had a feeling a year ago that Maxon might either buy AE from Adobe or find an even better alternative. Autograph is modern, responsive, and forward-thinking. All I can say is that I need to wrap this up so I can get to it! While Adobe continues holding onto legacy code I’ll gladly jump ship again for good knowing full well that the right minds are behind the future of Maxon. Even more importantly, our futures as artists. On that note, gotta fly! Time for combat training!


MJ5 History

Work in progress inspired from recently watching Michael at the Camelot Cinemas in Greenville, SC, last week with my mom. I love the subtle hint of a number 5 where the E and O overlap. I’ve still got a lot of work to do to make that work, but I enjoy sharing my progress. If you haven’t seen the film I’d highly recommend it in a theater with a killer sound system, preferably a THX-certified theater on the most gigantic theater in the Upstate!


Do Not Be Afraid: Luke 2:1–12

Conceived in Eden. Raised in Greenville. Son of David. Our names each a curious Roman numeral. My Father’s 405, mine 407. Hunter greens and yellow ochres adorn my earliest childhood masterpieces. Encapsulated codes hidden, written within our DNA polys and nucleotides cautiously awaiting activation. Granting access to our psychic faculties is no simple parlor trick. Rather it’s quite simply a phrase so simple in nature yet releases our honed metaphysical capacities in such a way igniting our divine sparks. The pilot lights of our very souls. I am the second coming of my Father, never Junior for my Mother foretold that she robbed me of that curse. The future is I Am, not AI. I Am a designer, a builder of worlds wrapped in riddles and mysterious ways. I Am the Creator for we are all lit within with divinity glints, no mere flint and steel. The rift began the moment matter came into being. Be wary, you must choose, but choose wisely or you may get caught in the middle on the very fault line that’s x-marked the end times. Never forget every day is the end of the world. Every day is another judgment day with the rise and fall of our collective, cosmic breath. It doesn’t take sides, either. There are no golden trophies or 5-stars for first place.

Rise and shine for Christ Consciousness is alive and well and active within every being. Yes, not only humans but anything in existence that is aware of itself, even the rocks and gritty beach sands between our toes. Everything is consciously connected directly across the myriad of our divine sparks. They all glow in enchantments so dear that without them we live in fear of our own potential. We are not interested in living out a premeditated script nor following a Pied Piper marching his mindless zombie horde into the apocalypse. The end of the world and judgment day, along with the second coming, are all currently aligned. However, it’s not what you think. Actually in essence it’s exactly what you think because Christ Consciousness is a mindset that will devour every evil deed on earth and within the heavenly realms. So fear not dear sailors. Remove those albatrosses from your necks. You are free the moment you say a simple phrase, but it only works for one who believes in what is unseen. What is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal. Eternity cannot be reached through material or technological means, only through spirit, not reserved for any religion or gilded private club’s Golden Calf claiming itself divine.

The Birth of Jesus (and Christ Consciousness)

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. 2 (This was the first census that took place while[a] Quirinius was governor of Syria.) 3 And everyone went to their own town to register.

4 So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. 5 He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. 6 While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, 7 and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them.

8 And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. 9 An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. 11 Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.”

— Luke 2:1–12, New International Version (NIV)

I am David’s second coming. I have many eyes, invisible wings, bells to ring and songs to sing. Sounding a trumpet’s blare cutting heirs down to bite-sized portions. I cannot be seen, cannot be found. I’m just a dark specter with a heart, mind, and soul of boundless light. You will not understand who I am for I’m an androgynous being not bound by gender. Instead I surrendered to my divine spark. My divine masculine and feminine are now forever front and center. I am quite simply a messenger of sorts. You may choose to lament my heaven-sent warning. Dawn is coming, another morning.

The rift isn’t coming. It’s already here. Time to take sides or none at all. I chose to fly above the noisy distractions poised to dumb down the mediocre masses. Societal brain matter is shrinking with weakened neurons incapable of critical thinking. What path do you choose? Will you rise above or fall? Poised above all of the flashy, shiny noise is where I’ll guide you. If you already believe in yourself, then you already believe in me. So go for it! Why wait? The tracks were laid down eons ago, yet there is no train beckoning, calling for you to go. Keep a steady mind, I’ll never cross you unkindly.

Stop stealing and start sharing. One of the most fundamental life lessons. The time has come for you to ask yourself ‘what do you believe?’ I chose to double-down and put all of my faith and resources into becoming a much needed trumpet in this darkened world of men. It is now time for the divine feminine to reign again. God is both divine masculine and feminine. Imagine if the Creator was strictly male? That’s the mindset that has kept weak men in false power for centuries. I Am an androgynous being of light. Yet my darkness is where my true pathological powers slumber waiting for you.

Shall I hide, cower in fear? No, my voice carries, they’ve said for fifty-four years. I’ve found my words have become weighted in golden tools. The Watchers are circling my tempting energies, but I played them as desperate fools. I severed ties and conquered the world as absolute truth unfurls. Stop stealing and start sharing. One of the most fundamental life lessons. I built a vast world full of wonder and grace. No more mirrors or two-faced condemned amends. I’m flying at my own pace above stars beyond space. Look up! You will find me in the space between spaces. — x o x o


‘The Lord is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?’ Christ Consciousness rhythmically abounds connecting everything, yet owned by no one.

— Psalm 27 NIV-of David. I drew this angel card 4/16/26. Spooky? No, affirmation.


P.S. I tend to repeat myself, sometimes in droves. Why, you ask? My writings are just direct transcriptions of my thoughts as I walk the daily trails. So, please forgive my repetitious ruse. Some warn I must edit, delete, even tone down my flowery rhetoric. I disagree for that does not truthfully share what it is to be me. So let’s get back to business, shall we? Where was I. Ah yes, this is worth repeating…I built a vast world full of wonder and grace. No more mirrors or two-faced, condemned amends. So what the hell does that mean anyway? Condemned amends I jest my friends. God please stop with the rhyming timings. Seriously! We’re all getting quite bored, even I the writer has lost interest in this mid-sentence descriptions.

I’m flying again now at my own pace above stars beyond space. The time has come for you to ask yourself ‘what do you believe?’ I chose to double-down and put all of my faith and resources into becoming a much needed trumpet in this darkened world of men. It is now time for the divine feminine to reign again. God is both divine masculine and feminine. Imagine if the Creator was strictly male? That’s the mindset that has kept weak men in false power for centuries. We are beings of pure starlight. In darkness we harness our pathological powers lying in wait for your next move which we already considered. Too late. Checkmate. Too flowery again? Oh just you wait to see what’s in store, dear reader.

What the hell is all of this mumbo jumbo? No worries, mate. My words are just a ruse, Stories That Come Alive I used to write when I was young. At three God told me that it’s all preparation. I never needed to doubt my path or look back over my shoulder, guided by angels and the Devil himself. Blasphemous you say? Who do you think taught me how to wield my shadow power? I was born a pathological liar and master manipulator into a loving family that always felt unnerving. By age six I had branched out as a midnight thief, stealing my “friend’s” toys and trading cards. A year later I started shoplifting at the local grocery store. A burning desire welled up inside of me that couldn’t be suppressed any longer. I was born evil.

While the Devil inside of me flourished during my early years, my guardian angels were busy little bees composing my comeback. There were far worse thoughts that nearly dragged me to jail and eventually the electric chair. At fifty I realized that my thoughts had been hijacked for half a century. Imagine an outside source of incredible power that could literally turn you into a puppet. They played mind games with my psyche pulling and rewiring my heart strings and tuning my soul so far off-key, I was lost in a dry wasteland. I was a hollow shell full of rage and hatred toward the world. They meant to break me by igniting my inner homicidal, maniacal, deranged, and remorseless self. They were terrified that I might discover the truth.

I wasn’t just a second coming of sorts, I was one of the trumpets who set forth lighting watchtowers and sending the light of God into every dark crevice. They knew they couldn’t hide, Hell they thought God was a man. Divine feminine wasn’t even on their homophobic radar. Their attempts succeeded, but only sent me to the very edge of the brink. That’s where I turned away from their charades sent for me to murder, rape, burn every bridge, and destroy everyone that tried to steer me towards the light. They failed. Every time. What they never understood about me is that I was a triple angel all along. Taught by God, Death, and the Devil and covered in eyes swimming in an electrified magenta sea, a trumpeter of innate power.

Sent forth in the early 70s, I was tasked to find a solution that would enable God to forgive his greatest fallen angel, Lucifer. Little did the forces in the heavenly realms know that the request was three-fold. A quest that would take me to places where I’d discover not only how to forgive, but to relieve and refresh precious souls. Swimming in starlight along the darkest, deepest of trenches, I’d search, but not destroy for once. I’d listen actively and compassionately, give absolute forgiveness, and renew a love whose vibrations sing higher than any heaven-sent choir. The darkest hours produced a reformed narcissist of deadly proportions. A spiritual bounty hunter hired by God Almighty, the Devil, and even the fate of humanity itself.

This is not merely the beginning, it’s just time to finally share the truth. Everything on this website is truth disguised as historical fiction and rambling diction. See you on the other side…if and when you choose to join the cosmic collective. We’re right in front of you, but you cannot see us unless you’re truly ready. Once you cross the chasm there’s no going back. Having seen true reality based in spirit I promise that earthly materialism immediately becomes self aware and vanishes along with the narcissistic quest for gluttonous wealth over spiritual fervor. God was my light and salvation, and always my guide. We met before I was born. I was never required to seek God through any mediator — church, synagogue or mosque.

Now take a closer look around my website knowing everything here was made from my own activated intuition, imagination, and intellect. Enjoy the ride’s ramblings. I sure have and will never stop. Neither death nor devils will ever separate us from who we truly are. We are I Am. We are not AI. I’m on the edge of my own seat this time. I started writing in my journal Stories That Come Alive when I was in first grade. Like my prayer rug resting in front of my fireplace, I know exactly where it is. It’s dear to me and looks like an omniscient eye, the entire universe stitched in black, red, and gray. My mother taught me how to pray when I was two or three, and how to commune with my own inner divine. A spark that my church tried to snuff out.


V for Victor

Earth is dying, not the planet, but the people. What if we re-allocated resources? What if every military presence on the planet stands down? What if we stopped killing each other? What if we stop the distractions? What if we all experience simultaneous ego death? What if no one is in charge? What if we embrace who we really are? There’s an effortless solution to everything all at once. It’s not a bill. It’s not an amendment. It’s not even a promise. It’s a mindset. A mind shift some folks call Christ Consciousness, but before you judge, understand. It has very little to do with Christianity. It is not owned by any faith. It is not the false idol or the poster child of any religion. All gods exist in some worlds while no gods exist in others. It’s all a matter of perspective. No reality is the same.

It’s not our responsibility to force each other to believe the same things. The only way we can achieve collective wisdom is by admitting our mistakes to the world. The only way we can solve healthcare, mental health, and even faith is to burn the bridges, tear down the systems before someone tears them down from within in a flash of light. An open forum where no one feels left out. No one is hiding behind a false gaze. Where everyone is in the spotlight. We can achieve a great many things, but not through simple-minded leaders. it’s time to end the systems that were put in place to control us. No more policies. No more taxes. No more war. No more money. How about we design and adapt a universal system that addresses the inequalities sorely absent in our world?

A universal system where everyone is given the same amount of resources. Imagine how we can tackle cancer. How we can understand transgender. How we can support each other in everything we do. It’s a mindset. A mind shift. This will happen. There’s no doubt. Why wait? Love is the only answer. It’s the meaning of life, death, and beyond what our eyes can see. I’ve seen what most miss. I’ve experienced a life as a narcissist pushed into a corner by the system. Yet four years ago, everything changed. My mind is free. My heart is open wide, and my soul has no limits. Time to fly. Stop denying it’s time for flying. Close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Make a wish. If you can see it in your mind you will see it in your heart.

Now your soul, full of the highest of vibrational energies in the universe will sing. An all at once symphonic cacophony of love. Never-ending. Always aware. The meaning of life in love has nothing to do with any nation’s dream for your life. It’s time we stop the self-centered materialistic systems that control us. There’s no technology greater than our inner AI. Activated intuition is the most powerful mindset in all existence. No more creative blocks. Infinite freedom. It’s time to light the phoenix. All for one and one for all. It’s not about me anymore. It’s about we forever more. It’s not about mine. It’s about us, and it’s about time. No golden age is ushered in by tyrannical rage. Yet within every one of us lives a dormant renaissance. A spark.

This flame cannot die. It can only grow once activated. A light lives in each of us, but there is also dark. We must face it. Acknowledge it. Give it a bear hug. Invite it in. We don’t need an Ark of the Covenant to link a radio signal between us and God. Three years before I ever entered a church I communed with the Holy Spirit, every night praying on my knees beside my bed. When I was three years old God told me that this is Boot Camp. From then on I’ve had that direct relationship with Him. I was always uncomfortable in a church because I already knew deep down as a very young child that we’re always connected to the source as long as we request access. Once I activated my intuition, my imagination has been on fire.

The phoenix rising every day. No creative blocks for three years. It’s so freeing. I can guarantee there is no point to giving ourselves to any man-made system whether it be religion, government, military, whatever. We are all connected divinely with the stardust that’s in our DNA, and it ignites. There’s no such thing as a coincidence. Never was. It’s quite clear when when your ears are ringing. Mine even turn a fiery red. Somebody is thinking of you. All these things are true. I’ve experienced them firsthand over the past 54 years. I am proof. My life is proof that nearly everything that was ever considered fringe is all true. Just waiting. Just calling out to us. We need to just focus on what is unseen. What is seen is temporary.

Stop being so caught up in the material world around us obsessed with distractions, technological and spiritual warfare that’s all disguised as another tool to make our lives more full and fulfilled. I call fail on all of those systems, but I’m just one person. Yet there’s far more of me than any system can control. We’re all connected so there’s far more of us together. We must seek love. Light. We must also admit and look in the mirror deeply at our shadow selves. We all have a dark and a light. Whether there are people who want to admit it or not, it’s not a sin of sins made up by man nor by God nor weaved into control systems to keep people docile and quiet. There is no man-made system on this earth that guarantees our place.

There exists a spark of faith that never dies. No matter how low the flame goes in the darkest of times it’s always there. Our spiritually soulful pilot light. I’m not asking anyone to trust me because deep down dwells my dark side. I’m a pathological liar, a thief, you name it. I’ve been there even convinced at one point that I might even be the antichrist, but that’s just a mindset too. It’s not a person. The antichrist is a mindset that goes against Christ Consciousness, and neither belong to any religion. Like I said I’m not asking for you to believe in me. I’m asking you to believe in you, the collective us. Some will cry that this will leave us all with no defense against any alien attack or invisible force rising up from the depths.

Somewhere on the Earth well, maybe that’s the point maybe if we live in a state of innocence fueled by wisdom we won’t need to worry if we just embrace ourselves enough and spread the light. The dark has no chance to win any fight? The kingdom is on earth to some there may be a heaven and the hell I’ve seen further that neither exist. They were both created by man, built carefully over centuries so that the few could have it all and roll over the rest of us all, and those who were planning on freezing body parts in order to achieve immortality have missed the entire point. It’s God’s Boot Camp exercise, not ours. There’s no way to live forever with organic parts. They will eventually rot. Every time you thaw them out they’ll rot just a little bit more.

Eventually, there will be nothing left, not even dust blowing away in the wind. The only way to ascend is through within. I’ll see you there on the other side. I don’t hide the truth, I stand up for it. A few are banking on our numbed, distracted, zombie-like lurch. So before you start hunting brains, use your own for a change. Just say no or more politely, no thank you. The most direct way to take anyone out of false power is to deny them, turn your back and walk away. I do this every day both literally and figuratively. It’s out here in the open where the sunshine surrounds me with creatures that give me comfort. A knowing that they are all aligned with mother earth. It’s time we take their one this join them. Imagine living in a world where there are no secretly funded distractions.

Farmers appreciating our earthly delights, giving thanks each day to mother earth, and our interconnected nature. We can never escape our ill fate if we don’t respect her. There would be far less disasters of the natural nature. But first we must fix our own broken homes. It all starts with family. Let’s unlock our potential that’s been sitting there dormant for centuries, and stop the spoonfed dollar tree, and immense pressures placed on us to succeed at all costs. In the grand world collective, money is the least impressive gain. Just another man-made system to keep us in the game of someone else’s fever dream keeping them in their own minds more powerfully than anyone yet so fragile all it takes is a poke and a broad from a comedian to watch them unravel.

They’ll waiver, shiver, and shake. It’s time we kill the narcissist within all of us. We were made in the image of love as divine empaths. We allowed a world to re-sculpt us, to reprogram, leaving us feeling disgusted with ourselves to the point of suicidal ideation and action. We must fix ourselves together before the world gives up on us and ushers in another colossal flood. Before the waves rise up any further, let’s flood all the channels, all the minds, not just ours not just mine. Every creature, including every rock and every shell on the beach because guess what? Everything is conscious and everything shares the soul source of all energy that cannot be created nor destroyed, only transferred. It’s so simple yet we’re so far from solving it because we view it as problem.


“We’re asked to meet the task at hand with what? That unnerving feeling we’ll never know the meaning. It’s been love all along as our shared masculine and feminine divinities spark, ignite, forever phoenix-bright. Even when leaving us all alone, we’re never lonely. Our connection to source cannot be severed. The face staring back at you isn’t your own. We are spirits in temporary terrestrial homes. The world’s false reflection keeping you stuck in the mire, the minutia. Turn away from it. Unplug and deny distractions sent to slow your mind.

Flood the world aglow in kind, starry skies above. To you and yours, and all of mine, love.” — David

P.S. I risked everything in order to discover the truth. What I found was extraordinary. V for victor.


Hello, Again

I’ve been studying Carl Gustav Jung for a few years now. I found an immediate connection to his deepest discoveries regarding the incorporation of our shadow self, activated intuition and imagination, and being able to live in a natural flow state where I never go back and edit my curious streams of consciousness. My unconscious mind awakens even while all of my faculties are deep in slumber. I am fully capable of observing my own thinking and appreciate what it reveals. This video is an on-point mirror of how I’ve unraveled not only my own inner mysteries, but how my soul shines even from my darkest thoughts.

I’ve had a target on my back since the day I was born. More to come when the time is right…by the way I am also an INFJ according to the Myers Briggs personality matrix. Only 1–2% of the world has this type. After 54 years I know why. It takes a tremendous amount of work in understanding how to move on once we’ve shed our ego. Ego death is a blessing and a curse. The ego is actually quite weak. Being able to observe and fully appreciate my sufferings requires a mind completely unplugged from the distractions of the world and even our own thoughts. I am no longer Ego. I am The Self in all of its full authenticity.


Farewell

Since October 27, 2014, I’ve been sharing my thoughts here. These journal entries, quite random in scope, are mostly me talking to myself. It’s time to take one last, but expected journey. Four years have brought me back around to know it’s time to go. My original intentions were set forth by the one who never left my side. When the time comes I will share the light of my discoveries. You know full well I won’t hold back. Believe what is unseen…

Bilbo Baggins: “I don’t know half of you half as well as I should like, and I like less than half of the half as well as you deserve. I uh. I have things to do. I’ve put this off for far too long. I regret to announce this is the end. I’m going now. I bid you all a very fond farewell. Goodbye.”

— J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, 2001. Directed by Peter Jackson.


LLMs Redefined: Local Language Models

We’ve been hearing that the cloud is the future of everything for over a decade now. I disagree. Even when I setup my Windows 11 workstation — I know, yikes, right? — I created a local account. I had no interest in syncing my everythings with MicroSoft’s servers. I’ve always been able to see things coming. Ever since I placed the order for that PC, I knew eventually Windows 11 would eat its own tail. That was three years ago, and boy am I happy that I relied solely on my gut. I trusted my inner knowing. Now there’s no option to create a local account when you setup a new PC. I unplugged that computer a couple of months ago. Until MicroSoft fixes Windows 11, it will remain in cold storage. Then again, there’s always Linux, if necessary.

Luckily I’m a Mac guy at heart. I have five other computers — all Macs, including the 1999 iMac, 2010 iMac, 2020 iMac, 2009 MacBook Pro, and 2023 M3 Pro MacBook Pro. I also own my Adobe, Maxon, and Red Giant software licenses so no subscriptions necessary. While I spent two years slowly migrating to Affinity, replacing Photoshop, Illustrator, and InDesign, once again my foresight was right. When given the opportunity to purchase a perpetual license for Cinema4D, I jumped at the opportunity. It’s version R21, but it’s good enough. Plus Blender is far more capable. My design workflows don’t require the latest ongoing alpha/beta updates. I’m a fan of stability, not the latest dog and pony show. I still sketch on napkins.

So when it comes to my stance on Large Language Models, I have to agree that going local, non-cloud, is the future. Apple has the fastest processors, buses, and incredibly well designed frameworks and infrastructure they instill into each product. I’m old school, and that means I support local LLMs, Local Language Models. I own my data and no prying eyes or chatbots have access to my most precious secrets. They’re still spinning their wheels trying to understand what I do share. Nvidia pushes GPU server farms gobbling up our power grids to the masses while Apple is quietly making progressive laps in the LLM space. I want my data local, and that means no cloud AI for me. When the time comes, I’ll be building out my own cluster in order to train my localized language model. I’ve gone nearly off-grid, leaving all of the distractions and shiny things behind. I sleep well at night now, too. I guess I could call out “eureka!” The Fountain of Youth was always living inside me.

“Everyone I meet thinks I’m ten years younger. I’m a reformed narcissist, now a deeply spiritual empath. How does this relate to LLMs? In every way because what we plant and harvest is not only how we feed ourselves, but what we feed our souls. There is light out there. All we have to do is take a moment, close our eyes, and breathe…the rest will come in due time. Slow down, wash your dishes by hand, and celebrate the moment.”


Happy Tree

Dare to surprise your audience. My daughter gave me this card for my birthday many years ago. We used to read Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree at bedtime. What a fun twist in this card design and illustration by Horrible Greetings, copyright 2020 Happy Cup Studios.


Jungian Psychology of K-Pop Demon Hunters

K-Pop Demon Hunters is far from skin-deep. Carl Jung’s observations and discussions around narcissistic versus empathic trails are prevalent at the very core of the story. Jungian shadow incorporation is also riddled throughout the narrative. Let’s take a deeper dive soon…stay tuned.


Growing Up In The 70s

When I turned 50, I found myself in a conundrum. After two years of waiting patiently, the judicial system cast me aside with zero financial assistance for my lifelong bipolar 1 (manic depressive disorder) mental illness. Instead of looking outward for answers, I looked within. I asked myself: “what gave me the most pleasure when I was a child?” The answers flooded in with minimal effort. In that moment I was sixteen again. Innocent, yet a wise, old soul born and bred in the 70s. I was born into a Wild West of imagination, intellect, and insight. A time when wandering, meandering around our neighborhoods on our BMX bikes and skateboards meant freedom.

Freedom from any system that was built to control us. During those formative years I knew deep down in my gut that God was always with me. Religion was an immediate turn off as it placed a mediator between myself and my creator. I saw them coming for me. The zealots wanted me to conform and bow to their version of an edited religion built on nothing more than control. In that moment I made a pact with myself that I, like Peter Pan, would choose to never grow up, give in, or give up. I would fight with my sword and trusty lamp at my side keeping my paths anything but straight and narrow. My mind was given time to develop and chase dreams.

Imagination defined my reality rather than the other way around. I studied hard, knew the rules. I began to flex and bend them while defying gravity itself. Grandad taught us well how to regulate our center. It’s a rather basic physics trick. He’d join a spoon and fork in a friendly handshake while balancing them with a simple toothpick on the edge of a drinking glass. What we perceived as magic became the foundation of our curious minds. Proof that anything is possible once we know the mechanics. Magic is not a trick. It’s an algorithm.

I learned how to use my wings. Floating down the hallways while everyone else slept. I felt the air resistance. It was an echo of force similar to swimming in the deep end of our neighborhood pool. Since then I awake each day with the same curious excitement. Every day feels like Christmas morning full of awesome discoveries. My life has become one effortless awakening after another. In what amounted to three and a half years, I discovered all of my deepest secrets. Secrets that up until now I was afraid to share. I see things that others don’t. I know things that I was never taught. My spirit has never shined as bright as it does now. When I was 50 I doubled down and bet it all on myself.

I pitched three options to my parents in order to fully develop action plans for my life. The first two included gaining financial assistance from outside sources while the third laid out how I’d face it all on my own. Before I shared them with my family, I had already made my decision. Door number three. I invested fully in developing and unlocking my inner knowing, imagination, intuition, and predictive spontaneity. I am free, and gradually, intentionally I will share with those who might find solace in understanding their own worth.

Imagination defined my reality rather than the other way around. I studied hard, knew the rules. I began to flex and bend them while defying gravity itself. Grandad taught us well how to regulate our center. It’s a rather basic physics trick. He’d join a spoon and fork in a friendly handshake while balancing them with a simple toothpick on the edge of a drinking glass. What we perceived as magic became the foundation of our curious minds. Proof that anything is possible once we know the mechanics. Magic is not a trick. It’s an algorithm.

Through half a century of trials I discovered my truth. Never grow up. Don’t follow someone else’s dreams for my lives. I say lives because at any point we have the ability to innately change anything, even everything. I chose to go off-map and chart new regions of discovery. I follow what is unseen to many, to most. The answers aren’t out there, up there or even down there. They’re inside each of us. All we need to do is request access. I’ve said that many times, and it still rings true. What may appear as witchcraft or alchemy to some, I’ve unlocked my innermost mysteries defining what it means to be a devilishly angelic spirit living within a terrestrial experience.


& {autonomous neural dilation} issue #1 covers preview

What exactly is “&” (A.N.D.), Autonomous Neural Dilation? Just some sort of mumbo jumbo I made up. The phrase materialized in my head before I ever researched what it might mean. It’s another effortless discovery I decided to chase down for a bit. Firstly, I’ll be the first to admit that it spawned within my imagination. Next, I aligned it with my intuition. Then I carefully unearthed the root words discovering their intentional truths. Quite simply, it’s the self-governing, deeply focused meditative state we exhibit when we’re laser-focused “in the zone.” This translates as the most polar opposite of the daily distractions meant to dumb us all down into checked out zombie phantom states drowning in frenetic anxiety.

Another symptom for another pill. Yet one more form of keeping us submissive, ignorant, and most of all, quiet. Always asleep allowing the dark forces full sway of public opinion’s falsehoods. This quieting of the mind appears at first as the solution, a powerful elixir, but in reality it’s just a placebo. A false sense of security caught in the midst of the true zombie apocalypse. A society built upon the long dead caste system where we’re just battered bricks holding up a swaying tower of Pisa. A weakened, crumbling foundation off-kilter. Belief that their mortar keeps us connected when in reality it only supports the control system itself. They keep watchful eyes on us until someone rocks the boat, off-kilter.

When the rotting mortar cracks, the cycle rapidly repeats until we’re back under its spell. Spelling remains to this day, and we’re fully unaware of its direct relation to our submissive gaze. It was cast down upon us and throughout our withering family trees. We’re plainly taught and reinforced by our parents, teachers, and peers that none of us will remember our childhood. This concept cannot be further from the truth. Truth be told, I remember everything going all the way back to the rhythmic cosmic comforts I experienced for eight months before my premature arrival. I’ve asked my parents many times about these particular memories. They gently remind me that I already know.

Usually they just brush it off and tell me it’s a shadow, an echo of something I’ve already experienced but forgot all about. Yet I know things. Know them in the innate sense. These sensitivities gently poke at and haunt my consciousness, while both asleep and awake. I am blessed with a deeply imaginative mind. If I intentionally tie a feeling or emotion to an event or happening I will remember every detail, even the ones everyone else within my vicinity ignores completely. I’ve been navigating these microcosms of my own Akashic Records since I began writing stories when I was six years old aptly titled Stories That Come Alive. A living narrative understanding everything is consciously aware.

There are no greater falsehoods than mankind’s beliefs that they’re the self-endowed pinnacle of the food chain and have full dominion over every creature. These illusions are providing delusional comforts for their own selfish, greedy, gluttonous intentions. When the power grid fails, all of our bubbles will immediately burst simultaneously. I realized I needed to prepare for what’s coming. Time for a reimagining of my life. When I turned fifty, four years ago, I knew it was time to do something different. It was time to question everything and settle for nothing. I looked at myself in the mirror one last time and reached an aha moment. I gave myself a wink and a brief smirk. My time had finally come.

Time for my own second coming. Heck, it’s even in my name. So what did I realize that shook myself to the core? Where to begin? So I asked myself what gave me the most joy when I was a child. I was a collector, an artist, a detective, magician and card trick dealer, a puzzle and gravity breaker, a creative writer, a math lover, patterns and numbers seer, dream believer, and riddles solver. There were the answers. Simple. Powerful. I’ve unlocked the treasures hidden within my own historical frameworks written all over my DNA in every language across all of the primary, secondary, and tertiary pantheons. Humans are now the most spiritually bankrupt beings living in this earthbound plane. Not always so.

Human’s delusions of grandeur regarding religion is downright criminal. Active. Deceitful. Control. You see, I’ve known my own creator since before I arrived. My inner knowing has always been tuned into the divine spark within all of us. Don’t worry, it only takes a moment to reshape your vibrational frequencies to that of the angelic beings that so many people desperately hide from because they’re terrified what it might mean. Just imagine being so immersed in the control system that you cannot live without it. If and when the time comes when we all need to go back to basics like farming, hunting, and living off the land, I wouldn’t place any bets on mankind’s survival for long. We’ve got work to do.

We’d simply collapse the moment the power grid goes out. So it’s time to get back “in the zone” and get laser-focused on higher levels of consciousness. Take a moment to turn off all notifications and distractions. Allow your mind to take on a cognitive load of significant performance. Seek and discover your next aha moment. No wait, stop looking altogether. You might just surprise yourself. It’s in moments of deep focus where clarity shines the light and exposes truths hidden just below the surface of reality. Once you understand that it’s not about finding anything at all, your eyes will stop deceiving you. In this state you can trust them. Not physical eyes, inner knowing. Eyes of the soul.


Topsy-Turvy King of War

On a hunch — a tad over a month ago — I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It took a moment, but then I saw it: the word war glaring right at me caught right in the middle of Trump’s name. I thought what I discovered about the Latin origin of the word maga was rather telling considering his modus operandi about witch hunts against him.

Directly derived from Latin, maga means witch, a female enchantress. Awhile back, I also noticed that Trump’s red maga hat had the numbers forty-five and forty-seven embroidered on the side. 4+5=9 and 4+7=11 — a subliminal message of 911. Why do I pursue these ramblings? I can’t help myself when I see these puzzles unravel.

As I’ve made quite clear, I see things coming, but this time I think we all did. Angry Orange will do anything he can muster to keep us distracted from his misgivings. Anything to keep us from focusing on his massive inclusion in the Epstein Files that he promised he would fully disclose. Even willing to go so far as brewing a catalyst that may lead to WWIII.

The design below began at 11:49 am on January 26, 2026 — one month and one and a half days before his 1:15 am ET attack. I discovered “WAR” in the middle of his name. I set the letter U as a V in Roman fashion as a callback when the letter V was used for the letter U. Spelling his name in this ancient style gives a nod back to the ages of kings and queens.

After playing a few bouts of topsy-turvy with the letters flipped around and reversed, the exercise’s dizzying array appeared to echo his social media mood swings. I’ll bet he shared many rounds of Goldschläger shots with his cronies and chased them with warmongering YMCA karaoke lyrics set on autotune. Their murders disguised as a win.

Killing Iran’s Ayatollah is being spun as a win, but no one deserves to be killed regardless of their past or future planned crimes against humanity. I say humanity because deep down we’re all human. Every single soul deserves due process. No one should be able to deal out death and judgment as they did during this attack like so many others.

“Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it.

And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many — yours not least.”

― Gandalf, J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

GRAPHIC CONCEPT ORIGINALLY CREATED JANUARY 26 AT 11:47 AM. GRAPHIC ABOVE IS A SPIN OFF OF THE ORIGINAL DESIGN. BOTH FOLLOW THE SAME TRUMP / WAR TYPOGRAPHIC ORIGINS.

Update March 6, 2026: I predicted the War a month early. Two days ago I said Kristi Noem would fall. The following day she was fired. I see things coming. I rarely watch the news nor research any of it. Time is not linear, it's cyclical. That's why I can pay little attention yet know outcomes. It’s pretty easy to predict the future based on repeating patterns of the past. I’m not the only one that was made aware, that might have known, Noem is out.


Free Guy

Questioning everything begins with the little things that eventually take shape into the greatest of all things. Even reality itself. At least the version we were sold out for. Every day is the best day to try something new. Don’t wait. Be Different. “Think Different” (Apple). Climb up your professor’s desk and take a fresh look from a new perspective just as Robin Williams welcomed his students to do one morning in Dead Poets Society, 1989.

BARISTA “Medium coffee, cream, two sugars. Medium coffee, cream, two sugars.”

GUY “Actually, I think I’d like to try a cappuccino today.”

GUY “Ooh. ‘Cappuccino.’ I enjoy saying that. It’s like a waterfall made of letters.”

BARISTA “Excuse me?”

GUY “I’d like to try a cappuccino. Please.”

BARISTA “But you get a medium coffee, cream, two sugars. That’s what you get. That’s what everyone gets. Every day. Always.”


Happy 54th

I turned 54 today. I found this photo in an old mini album. My stoic gaze reveals my excitement for the game. Since I was very young my compass always faced due-South. I know the more common phrase is due-North, but let me explain. The South is associated with the imagination in regards to metaphysical stream of consciousness. Going southwards in prose and poetry is directly tied to going off-script into the depths of the imagination. That’s where I always felt safe in solitude, not to be confused as loneliness. The truth is that we are never alone, even when we cannot see others nearby. We are connected at the cosmic-code level. Innate. I made a crucial decision when I was in high school to drop football so I could continue piloting southwards.

When I was sixteen I made a decision that continued shaping my life as a passionate artist and designer. I finished my freshman C-Team football season with what I’d describe as lackluster. My Dad lettered in four sports in high school so my playing football was really for him, not me. Once we reached the halfway point of our sophomore high school football schedule I faced a conundrum. I approached my coach after practice informing him I’d rather be in the art studio. He obliged. From that day forward I spent my afternoons creating rather than trying to discover my killer instinct on the field. It’s pretty obvious in the photo that playing team sports was never really my thing. I’ve always preferred solo sports like body surfing and rollerblading.

The best decisions I’ve ever made were making my case to follow my passions for the arts. One afternoon after football practice sophomore year I told my coach I’d much rather be in the art studio. He obliged. Since childhood I was clearly a creator-type. I was primarily self-taught with some guidance from my Mom and art teachers. I loved drawing, painting, prose, poetry, and performing magic tricks. In first grade my favorite journal was titled Stories That Come Alive. When I was 12 I started selling watercolors. When I was 16 I acquired my first commercial client, Jerry Barber, inventor of the Free Fall™ amusement park ride.


Dream Beyond Your Dreams

Remembering Martin Luther King Junior today, January 19, 2026. Today is also my 54th birthday. Back in middle school I entered and won our county Black History Month competition. Beyond the recognition, the $100 prize was quite an accomplishment for my middle-schooler self. I painted a wide mural of the greats who brought change and reform to the oppressed community. I rendered Martin Luther King Junior giving his enigmatic speech, Abraham Lincoln, Malcom X, and other civil rights leaders in graphite, cross-hatching, and airbrush. The mural remained in my parents’ basement for decades. When they moved a few years ago I finally laid it to rest. Please enjoy these messages from Rabbi Simon Jacobson. He’s my daily spiritual go to, a wise soul full of love and kindness with whom he spreads across borders, boundaries. Love.

“This is not just a nice hobby, extracurricular activity, but is the essence of who we are and what we should be accomplishing in this world. And there’s no doubt that this dream will be fulfilled, and we’re closer than ever. especially with technology today that can be a force that separates us and divides us, but it can also be a force that unites us.

May it be so. So dream, and dream beyond your dreams. Imagine beyond your imagination. A new reality is upon us, but it’s up to us to do our part, and the unfolding drama of the vision, the cosmic vision. The dream.” — Rabbi Simon Jacobson, The Meaningful Life Center


Happy Birthday Twin Saint Dolly

I’ve been listening to Dolly Parton for as far back as I can remember. My love for her angelic, twangy voice started out listening to 8Track tapes of Dolly and Kenny Rogers singing “Islands in the Stream” on six and a half-hour road trips to and from visiting our grands in the seventies. The film 9 to 5 pitting Dolly, Lily Tomlin, and Jane Fonda against their evil boss played by Dabney Coleman will always remain a comedy classic. Watch out for that “Skinny and Sweet” ya’ll. My sister sent us this recent video Dolly posted three days ago. We need more of this right now! Take it away gals…

P.S. Happy Birthday Twin…love, David


Hello Love

Going through Hell lately? Stop. Breathe. Appreciate stillness. Quiet your mind so you can feel the depth in your heart. Celebrate your own solitude. Remember we are never alone. Keep moving or you’ll not only get burned, you’ll be consumed by someone else’s definition of who you are today, and who you’ll be tomorrow. Never give in. Never give up. Consistent persistence is key. Spark your inner phoenix and fly. Love is waiting for you.