Once I remembered what got me excited to meet each day with vigor and excitement there was no stopping me. I don’t wait anymore for the world to come to me. I did that for decades as one connection naturally met another. Word of mouth marketing served me well as far back as my early teenage years. Based solely on skill and reputation in my mind I was the “king of the world!” However, that was only the tip of my iceberg. Taking nearly fifty years to understand my life doesn’t need permission nor do I need it to show up for me in order to find my way.
I was highly fortunate to never have to really go job hunting as even in my darkest hours an offer letter would come in for my consideration at just the right moment for a position I never applied to from a company I hadn’t pursued. The most rewarding conclusion I came to was that I didn’t need to wait around anymore for someone else to give me a job. I didn’t need someone else’s praise in order to find my way. I had the will within me to try, to trust, and to rely on my own ambitions. By following my intuition rather than the latest artificial invention I recharged my super powers.
Some people look my way giving a smirk thinking to themselves that everything I am doing must be based on heavy helpings of crazy. They taunt why does David have so many self-employed company pages on LinkedIn? My answer is simple: I’m a traditional polymath and I rarely use tools in the most standard, predictive fashion. While each entry isn’t really a company, they are all part of my daily routine as a creative. Leonardo da Vinci and I have a lot in common. I’m just an apprentice to his genius, but the connection is there.
Like so many other artists and high performers I have manic depression as I mentioned above. The best metaphor I can think of to describe this condition is I’m Superman, but I have a large chunk of kryptonite I carry in a sack on my back. When I’m exposed to its green glow I lose all of my powers. The redneck at the diner could easily take me out with one punch. However, I now hold the key to walking through hell fire without being burned. I now carry a shield crafted by the ancients, a glowing blue sword of Elvish design, and a lamp I found in The Great Underground Empire.
Call me anything you like as it’s none of my business what others think of me. When I was six the bullies on the bus called me Hulk. I scowled a lot and appeared always angry. The fact was that I always squinted because I needed glasses. My teammates called me Superman, and now my daughter calls me Batman. The Dark Knight had a toy for everything. So do I. While I was in dire financial straits I sold my original Star Wars action figures from 1977–1983. That one hurt, but it had to be done. Since then I’ve rebuilt my collection, and one day I will gift them all to my kid.
“I keep on making those new mistakes. I keep making them every day. Those new mistakes.”
That’s where wisdom floods our gray matter. We realize in that moment that if we don’t mind, it doesn’t matter. We must fall down many times before we ever fly out of the nest. It’s a cyclic, winning formula that took me five decades to finally master. Now I cannot unsee what I’ve seen. I’m now much wiser for the wear, but only in this moment. That’s all we really have is this breath. Sometimes holding our breath for a few moments during meditation helps to open our third eye. While some folks live lives of closed off ignorance, my gray matter sparks my third eye wide. Be well.