Before I reached the age of six I fully understood how to wield the power of persuasion. Born a natural, self-taught INFJ pathological liar and master manipulator I received every material possession I desired. I lied, stole, cheated, and possessed the will and charisma to unravel and spout out untruths in the heat of the moment even when directly under fire of accusation. When combined, these two fiendish traits granted me unlimited power to bend reality to my will or was it another’s?
Just eight months in the womb, I was born 1/9 angel and 8/9 human yet my soul was deeply embedded with a dark seedling planted by whom which sprouted a root system tasked with the dividing of boulders, joints and marrow, now crushed into mere piles of rubble and dust. Vile, unhushed. A shadowy specter circling me like a Great White shark with razor-sharp precision when it engulfed and swallowed me whole.
I wasn’t kidnapped by aliens. I was being put to the test of all tests we all must face or be lost to oblivion altogether. A month before birth my life force struck a chord with angelic and demonic spirits in the heavenly realms. Some light yet most dark, they latched onto my signal tracking my every breath attempting to understand how I wielded such powers with no archetypal prehistory to back up my falsehoods.
They nibbled at me through a series of Electroconvulsive Therapy shocks alluring, even musing me and promising my every desire. Lucifer needed me above all others to be it’s conduit, it’s path to ushering in the antihero. The antimatter woven into the very fabric of spacetime itself. The zombie horde of the apocalypse continues marching on at its own stead. Our atmosphere had become clouded in soot and despair.
Meet my other side, my Mr. Hyde. Was the AntiChrist gestating like Giger’s Alien deep inside my body cavity never sleeping, always feeding? Always twisting, tormenting my mind with the rotten, necrotic flesh of others. Maniacal. Homicidal. I wasn’t alone. There were more, so many more seemingly lost souls who’d traded their life force for greed.
Over eight billion souls around the globe now experiencing the same moral choices ever since we were seduced by technology. Our moral compass has gone from urgent need of repair to beyond broken. Parts so confused as to how they fit together now in this dimmed world.
Wait…I’m awake with tears burning the corners of my bloodshot eyes dripping onto my sleeping victim’s face…the darkness of my insidious heart pulsing rapidly nearly tearing a whole in my chest. This spasm of epic proportions felt like I’d become a lightning rod for enlightenment. In that awakening within moments I understood my truth. I was no evil fiend nor was it my friend. My guide is and shall always be in God and in Christ Consciousness. So rise and shine, let’s put these shadows to bed.
These dark shadows chased me since childhood. What started as a friendly sleepover turned into my first encounter with being possessed by the demon that I first saw in my own bedroom. I’ve seen it twice since — never afraid, always familiar. Was I the master key in unlocking Hell on Earth? Dear God…is this true?! Somehow I’m not deterred, not afraid of what this might mean. Am I arrogant or have I gone mad? No. I’m justly prepared. This is what manifests when preparation meets opportunity.
If I am here it is by sheer will of the force of God almighty, not by the hearts of the dark hearts of earthly men. We INFJs are not only rare clocking in at 1.5%–2% of the world’s population, we’re the ones most fear. The qualities in us are quite closely aligned with our spiritual roots. We’re the ones who not only know our wings weren’t clipped at birth, but we can see them keeping us inflight as everyone else struggles crawling on the moist, moldy, rotten forest floor. Yet rot yields life.
We are introverts so intuitive that our lives are effortless once we turn the keys. Every pain and pursuit of happiness felt fully while also squinting an eye splintered in judgment. Every day is Judgment Day. We cannot unsee. We know. We know what you’re up to. Our predictive spontaneity knows no limit in seeing what’s coming. “So it begins.”
“Like Joseph Conrad, I believe in the journey, not the destination as being the most provocative. ‘I like what is in the work, the chance to find yourself. Your own reality, for yourself not for others, what no other man can ever know.”
— Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness, originally released as a three-part series in Blackwood’s Magazine, 1899.