Dismantling My Narcissistic Nature

Throughout my life I’ve garnered my share of art and design awards. Beginning in second grade elementary, continuing through middle school, high school, and college. This trend spiked during my professional career. However, the two Humanitarian Awards I received at Skyland Trail in Atlanta, Georgia, are the two closest to my heart. That’s where I began shifting toward supporting and boosting the light of others. The narcissist within that ruled over me began breaking down. I realized the light I had been pursuing wasn’t my own. I was chasing a nightmare disguised as a lucid dream state.

This isn’t a boast, more to the point it’s a reflection of the moment my narcissistic tendencies began to dissolve inviting my innate empath back into my life. Growing up I had no idea what skills like active listening were. My sisters used to offer me a nickel to be quiet for five minutes. I never made a dime’s worth. I got roasted in 1996 when I had my first review with my boss. That was just the beginning of dismantling my self-centered nature. Little did I realize how envious I was of those around me who showed compassion for others. My other vices fueling deadly sins in my wake vanished overnight.

All I had to do was ask God to show me “blatant signs” that I was on the right path. He showed me how to not follow paths at all, but take to the sky.

“The shadow of an empath is born from endless giving. Once unleashed, it has the fire that cannot be tamed.”

— Carl Gustav Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst

Stop Stigmatizing the Term Mental Illness

The term mental illness has become just another stigmatized weapon of weak, narrow-minded fools, halfwits, and bullies who, if you call their bluffs, have no real power over anything and especially over anyone. However, mental wellness is what we all deserve and seek whether we’ve been diagnosed or not. Those of us showing up daily seeking mental wellness know it’s not something to be taken lightly. It takes effort. Endless effort. Yes, endless.

Mental wellness education begins at home, and now we’re finally taking a much closer look at so many things that were casually swept under the rug because the truth was too painful. Our families were attempting to protect us by not addressing the obvious in hindsight. You know that uncle of yours that no one ever really told you about while you were facing the same demons? He was my uncle, and we both faced them head on. I know first hand. I don’t blame anyone for my own trials.

My family did the best they could at the time. I believe in their hearts they felt that they were protecting me. The fact is that the only way we will survive is realizing we have nearly everything in common if we’re willing to seek the truth. Truth. It doesn’t just matter. It’s what we wake up for each day except we now live in a time that it’s challenging to know what the truth really is, or is it? Take a look around. A really deeply focused look around. The bullies think they can manipulate and cast their gas-lit distortion fields on us, and we will just say thank you, sir, may I have another. There’s a fine line between genius and madness. Let that sink in. I must be another one of thos crazy ones that should be “locked up,” right?

Not even close. I know my truth, and I’ll always choose to show up over hiding behind ignorance spread by false prophets. I’ve been one of the crazy ones for 53 years, and I have 47 more to go. Stay strong. Be well.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”

— Steve Jobs, Founder, Chairman, CEO, Investor, and Inventor

Sam Altman and Trump in Bed Again 👹 ❤️‍🔥 😡

Wow! SAm AlTmAN, our Prince of Darkness and leader of the cyclops zombie apocalypse, has been working out. I’ve never seen him so buff and a deep, red tan, too. I noticed Sam’s gold horns, too. A gift I’m sure.

Talk about horny…feeling thorny Donald? Thank you Trey Parker, Matt Stone, and the entirety of South Park. Bravo gentlemen. Ya’ll keep on keeping on. Your portrayal of the presidency’s microcosm is gold!

We Love You Stephen Colbert ❤️ 🚀🍦

Enough is enough. I guess that’s what the corporate bullshit vultures told Stephen Colbert. They not only cancelled him, they even cancelled the ongoing legacy of “The Late Show” since 1993 with David Letterman.

They cannot keep Stephen Colbert’s voice quiet beyond late night nor can they keep him from living out his “Americone Dream.” I’m with you Stephen, and so is your massive fan base. You’re the real deal.

Stranger Things S5

A few days ago Netflix dropped the Stranger Things Season 5 Official Teaser. I noticed the running time immediately. 2:47. That’s 11, 11. Double eleven might be a clue regarding the heroes of the final season. We have Eleven and now another. The Duffer Brothers were quite clear early on in Season 1 that Will Byers is tied directly to the Upside Down, now more than ever in Season 5. Lore duality lives at the heart of the narrative. Tolkien and D&D. The password to enter “Castle Byers” was a subtle hint. Radagast. What class is Will’s D&D character? A wizard. Who is Will? Alatar, one of Tolkien’s own Blue Wizards.

Getting back to the running time tie-in to 11:11 let’s take a closer look through the lens of an expert. According to Kaitlyn Kaerhart (pronounced care-heart), Mystic, Astrologer and Author of the international best seller You Are Cosmic Code: Essential Numerology “11 is also associated with spirituality, creativity, and innovation — all things worth connecting to in the face of a new beginning or fresh start,” from “1111 Meaning: What This Angel Number Is Plus How To Work With It.” Kaerhart’s own inner knowing is clear: “If you are seeing the number 11 repeated, you’re connecting with your intuition in a new and powerful way.”

Sleuthing the Detective Genre

In 1841 Edgar Allan Poe created the detective genre. Nearly a century years later, in 1939, Detective Comics introduced The Bat-man in issue #27. Edgar’s my birthday twin. We both spent formative time on Sullivan’s Island and around the Charleston area of the South Carolina Lowcountry 163 years apart. We’re both fond of writing short stories. Edgar invented the genre of detective mysteries in 1841 with his first locked-room mystery “The Murders in the Rue Morgue.”

Just one year after Action Comics gave us Superman we were delivered a darker hero. In 1939 Detective Comics introduced the world to The Bat-man, later shortened to The Batman removing the hyphen. Down the line following a handful of mergers DC Comics was officially branded in 1977 as the home of Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, The Flash, Green Lantern, and an entire expanded universe of heroes, heroines, gods, and demigods. Poe understood the dark and the light of character.

Poe directly influenced the creation of not only Detective Comics, but also the creation of The Batman. In 2003 DC Comics published Batman: Nevermore (Volume 1). It was a limited series starring Batman and Edgar Allan Poe. Based in nineteenth-century Baltimore they team up to solve a series of murders from a serial killer on the loose.

Christopher Nolan’s Dark Knight trilogy would appeal to Poe’s shadowy sensitivities. The Joker arrived in 1940, and it’s no stretch of the imagination that he was born from Poe’s ashes. Heath Ledger’s portrayal of the maniacal madman solidified itself in film history. While other Jokers followed, only Joaquin Phoenix was able to recapture audiences with his psychotic portrayal in his origin story The Joker. Now that we have a new Superman my bets for the next film will feature Batman or possibly an all-in, decked out Justice League versus The Legion of Doom. Why wait? Knock it out of the park, Mr. Gunn.

“Words have no power to impress the mind without the exquisite horror of their reality.” — Edgar Allan Poe

2003’s Batman: Nevermore is centered around a serial killer’s murder spree in nineteenth-century Baltimore. Penned by writer Len Wein and drawn by Guy Davis. Wein’s storyline incorporates Poe’s stylistic undercurrents in a tale that never breaks character. Lenore makes an appearance as the love of this fictional portrayal of Poe throughout this series of murder mysteries. Poe’s motifs are on full display carrying the compelling narrative filled with intrigue and the usual suspects that Batman may not be a hero after all. He may be the killer in disguise.

Inking Comics for $5 a Page ✒️ Celebrating Joe Kubert

Joe Kubert was born in Jezierzany, Poland in 1926 and died in Morristown, New Jersey in 2012. He is a highly decorated Comic Book Artist, Art Teacher, and Founder of The Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Art in Madison, New Jersey. He and his wife, Muriel, founded the school in 1976. During that first year their school garnered a roster of 22 students.

In 1938, at age 12, Joe Kubert began inking comics for $5 a page. That same year Action Comics introduced us to Superman in its debut issue. Kubert spent decades illustrating comics for DC and many others. Sgt. Rock, Hawkman, Tarzan, and Superman were some of his most iconic characters. Small world as I also got started when I was 12 selling watercolors to family and friends for $100.

In 1988 while visiting my girlfriend’s father in New Jersey we got invited to visit Joe Kubert’s home. In shock I immediately jumped at the opportunity in case I was, in fact, dreaming. My girlfriend pinched me assuring this wasn’t a dream. Kubert lived just a few miles from her childhood home. We arrived within minutes. Around every corner were framed covers of some of my favorite pantheon legends and mighty superheroes. What stood out the most during that visit was the simplicity of his basement studio. It was adorned with a drawing board and ink well. I imagined the decades of history he inked in that unassuming space. Artistic simplicity at its best. For more information visit The Joe Kubert School of Cartoon and Graphic Art:

https://kubertschool.edu

Gary Groth from The Comics Journal spent 6–7 hours with Joe Kubert for his interview. Once it reached its end, Gary wise-cracked “I’ve bled you dry, Joe.” Joe replied, laughing: “Well, it’s been a pleasant bleeding. Hardly hurt at all.”

Running Down a Dream

Empathy 💙 / Narcissism 🧡 / Ego Death 🤍

Why did I ever chase someone else’s dream? Sound familiar? It echoes across five decades of my life. Family and societal expectations projected onto me from a young age played their part. Buy low. Sell high. Amass wealth and prestige doing whatever it takes to win. Shoulders back, chest out, gut in.

Seriously?!

I believe we’re born empathic. For myself chasing the capitalism-infused American dream altered my frequency aligning it closely with narcissism. Three years ago I began to shed those traits that bent my soul.

Eventually, after 1,500+ journal entries, I fully experienced ego death. Mindfulness, DBT skills, and opposite action kept me headed in the right direction.

Now I’m nearly whole again, possibly for the first time since birth. Empathy requires far less energy than narcissism. Some think it’s the other way around. Possibly for them, but not for me.

Why?

Aligning oneself to a higher vibration requires far less energy specifically due to having direct access to a more highly concentrated energy field. ✨ Have a great week. Be the change…

We the People

Sometimes as we stroll through life we encounter living narratives. Have you ever been going about your day as usual, but then, suddenly, you discover a slice of reality that immediately spoke to you? A story, alive and unfolding before your very eyes — that when you stop and listen, has a subtle, but noticeable heartbeat all its own.

“We the People” graffiti construction zone Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, winter 2005. 20 years and 7 months ago while visiting my client, CBS3, I snapped this photo during an afternoon sidewalk tour in the midst of a neighborhood construction zone. I felt the scene had something to say.

The Bobcat, brick wall, highway divider, We the People graffiti, and piles of rubble speak volumes related directly to the current state of life in America. Other than the color grade the photo is untouched. Have a great week.

Stay hydrated. It’s hot out there.

Happy July 4th

Our Founding Fathers said it best. Let’s keep it unanimous. Happy July 4th. “That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government.”

The Second Continental Congress created The Committee of Five on June 11, 1776. They were tasked with writing the Declaration. Thomas Jefferson wrote the initial draft himself. The Committee of Five made revisions and additions.

Their committee included Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, Roger Sherman, and Robert R. Livingston.

What’s in Your Toolbox?

Our collective toolboxes share a history. Timeless tools outlasting millennia by artists, designers, and polymaths alike. The need for these tools is rather paramount more than ever in any point in history. Digital media is just that, it’s digital and not grounded in the real world. I see mirrored texture maps on models in blockbuster movies, and let’s not get into the crumbling nature of audio engineering running rampant as budgets shrink as does what’s considered acceptable. The bean counters run the show now right into the ground with no gestures of making amends. The bar hasn’t just lowered, it’s nearly nonexistent. In some cases it’s become a limbo-inspired chokehold to the ground. The sameness of repetition in a computer needs far more deliberate strokes, tweaks, and further thinking in order to produce something truly memorable and grounded in reality.

Film was magical, and it was also forgiveable. The world of 4K, even 12K clearly exposes the missing, generic details that were added like a cheap coat of paint on a rusty vintage racer. It may be able to still go fast, but it’s lost its spirit and passion for the race track and country road. Endless imagination fueled by intuition. That’s where the magic happens. Our most intense ideas sometimes spark in the middle of the night. Electrical impulses igniting our gray matter in a myriad of chromatic aberrations and expanding and retracting attenuations. I haven’t bought a Design Marker, Prismacolor, or tube of Windsor Newton watercolor for 40 years. Technology comes and goes, but the analog tools that I grew up with are still active in my creative arsenal. I have two toolboxes filled to the brim, yet most of the time I choose a pen and a scrap of paper.

Sometimes on a hot summer day even our tools are kissed by the sun. I took a moment out from painting to capture the beauty of this moment. A glimpse of time taken to appreciate the caustics, refractions, and especially the intentional design from the thickness of the bottle to the illuminated, radiant label.

“[David] possesses an infectious creative energy and consistently provides an abundance of outstanding solutions for each assignment.”

— Rick Booth, Director of Creative Services, New England Sports Network in Watertown, MA

Our tools assist us in illuminating our creations just as monks illuminated medieval manuscripts. Their own beauty on full display each time they’re sun-kissed as my bottle of “Dr. Ph. Martin’s 30C Pumpkin” awaits its ascension in providing richness to my next sheet of Arches cold-pressed 300-pound goodness. The caustics, glints, and glimmers of the bottle itself deserve their own credit. Not only the shape and thickness of the bottle, but also the design of the label allowing sunlight to illuminate through the lettering I find just lovely.

Further inspection of the bottle reveals additional intentional details worth noting. Notice the three graphic icons on the side. “Technical Pen, Brush, and Airbrush.” It’s crystal clear in such a classic, vintage manner. One bottle, multiple uses, and those were just three suggested use cases. We know the possibilities are endless. An Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat of sorts. Even colors not found in the visible spectrum on full display. Magenta streams of consciousness unabashed and fully aware of their limitless abilities of creation.

I’ve been using this particular watercolor since I was just a teenager 40 years ago. It’s still just as potent in purpose and saturation further supporting my creative expressions both commercially and personally. Every tool aids me in telling stories sometimes reimagining old ones from a new perspective. Some, like this bottle of radiant watercolor, still showing up in full vibrancy never fading into mediocrity that occurs in the daily digital realm. A reality. A history. Artistic ambition never replaced by the flavor of the week digital incarnation. Don’t settle for what someone else lacking in vision considers good enough.

While embracing our childlike curiosities through artistic expression we understand we have no need to bow down to any sense of public opinion. Divinely appointed, we artists know full well our passion in pursuing truth over popularized false substance. We wield weapons of mass instruction awakening the minds of the many who choose the natural world to one augmented and empty. We breathe soulful expressions of clarity into existence far removed from blind prompts sporting the lowest common denominator.

We know in our gut and our heart center that the joy we bring to the world is what makes dreams possible. Natural expressions that not only reflect and redefine reality but generate endless variations of our dreams freshly kindled around a collective campfire. We share our stories through patterns, riddles, puzzles, and prose. Looking back I feel as though my passion for art and design chose me rather than the other way around.

“Ode,” below, published in 1874 in Music and Moonlight.

We are the music makers,
And we are the dreamers of dreams,
Wandering by lone sea-breakers,
And sitting by desolate streams;—
World-losers and world-forsakers,
On whom the pale moon gleams:
Yet we are the movers and shakers
Of the world for ever, it seems.

— Arthur William Edgar O’Shaughnessy

A Mirrored String of Activated Intuition

In 2022 a monumental tome was printed in the rolling hills of Italy. Leonardo. The Complete Paintings and Drawings weighing in, once bound, revealed a mirrored string in notable Leonardo da Vinci fashion. 299.2 ounces. That number also holds another string. 9+2 & 9+2 reveals eleven-eleven, 11:11. That numerical duality refers to activated intuition, a heightened view of reality. Leonardo wielded it painting the very fabric of the universe through every intentional stroke of genius. While da Vinci did not finish many of his paintings, his notebooks are beyond measure. He was not only a master inventor, he understood the invisible connections that tie everything together. “Learn to see. Realize everything connects to everything else,” he once mused.

If you’re an artist, designer, curious child or lifelong tinkerer you know full well the significance of what that means in a spiritually cosmic sense. If not, do yourself a favor and check out Kaitlyn Kaerhart. She is a master of numerology, and a resource for understanding how numbers hold weight in our lives if we are willing to learn to see them. I’ve been fascinated with numbers, puzzles, riddles, and word jumbles since I was very young. I come from a long line of polymaths on both sides of my family. Biology professors, master gardeners, farmers, inventors, fine artists, crochet quilters, Scrabble wizards, Spades champions, chess masters, and code breakers. I grew up surrounded by mind benders met with mental maladies, true forces to be reckoned with.

I recently added this nearly twenty pound Leonardo da Vinci tome to my library. Paying nearly half price at $111 for this gently used Taschen XXL book I’m thrilled to have his works presented in such large scale format. I’ve never been much of a reader due to difficulty in keeping focus on the words since childhood. But pictures and experiences I have better than 20/20 vision holding them deeply within my mind able to recall them in full fashion at any moment. I hold picture books like this one as one of my most treasured possessions giving me the opportunity to pore over every intimate detail.

Leonardo. The Complete Paintings and Drawings. Hardcover, 11.4x15.6in., 18.06 lb, 712pages. ISBN 978-3-8365-8597-2. Edition: English.

“Leonardo da Vinci realized that: ‘It had long since come to [his] attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them. They went out and happened to things.”

— Leonardo da Vinci, Italian polymath of the High Renaissance, painter, sculptor, draftsman, theorist, architect, engineer, and scientist

Ice Cold / Rust Never Sleeps

We never know what wisdom might lie along our path. I came across this old rusty sign — a nearly hidden gem — during an afternoon hike in Arches National Park five miles north of Moab, Utah.

The irony of the heavily corroded, burnt orange sign itself, “Ice Cold,” and the hastily scribbled “rust never sleeps” from a random passerby quietly speaks a narrative nearly lost to time and decay.

Flat Mode macSOS

Updated post discussing the necessity for native and third party theming in macOS Tahoe, aka 26. “Liquid Glass,” while appearing as an exciting new visual overhaul, is not for everyone nor every app. Similar to “Apple Intelligence” we need the option to turn it off. I’d even settle for a slider to disable the refraction effect. It’s rather distracting during normal use. The more “Liquid Glass” demos I watch, the more I see the need for a Flat mode that’s the visual opposite of “Liquid Glass.”

We’ve experienced this conundrum before regarding glossy vs matte displays. I’ve always preferred a matte screen finish as far back as my 17-inch MacBook Pro. Reflective displays wreak havoc on our eyes. This eye strain is not a personal opinion, it’s a fact. Yet we as consumers are drawn to shiny things. That is the only reason why displays are usually glossy. Now imagine Liquid Glass on a reflective display. Doubling down on distractions might work in a demo, but not daily use.

Back in 2014 I released my theme “Post Pro 1.2” via Interacto’s Flavours theming app that enabled a true “dark mode” 4 years before Apple finally showed up with their official, native Dark Mode in macOS Mojave. The latest version of Dark Mode in macOS makes me smile as it’s quite similar to “Post Pro 1.2.” The screen grab below is from Sonoma, but it has not changed that I know of in macOS Sequoia.

Even back as far as System 9 we were all obsessed with theming our Macs. “BBX Mercury” was one the hottest themes by legendary designer Max Rudberg. System 9 also had a decent built-in theme engine with custom highlights, desktop pictures, and even sounds. We also customized the icons through downloading collections from IconFactory. Back then personalizing our macOS user experience was commonplace.

While working for NBA TV Design at Turner Broadcasting in 2013 I started playing around with Flavours by Interacto. It was the most feature-rich theming engine I’d ever seen. I could customize nearly everything in the operating system. My goal was to design a theme geared to post production professionals who preferred a darker GUI as many came from a Discreet Flint/Flame/Inferno world, like myself, and knew how helpful it was to work within a GUI that isn’t bright white like Adobe After Effects, Commotion Pro, and even the early commercial version of Digital Domain’s Nuke.

For a brief period I was on the Nuke beta team to provide feedback. Most of my suggestions revolved around the GUI which was bright white with floating palettes. Take a look at any compositing setup these days. Everyone has gone dark, preferably charcoal. While on the Adobe After Effects beta team for quite some time I remember when we got them to add the first version of darkening the GUI with direct slide ability for the user to adjust for personal taste. That first incarnation’s darkest tones weren’t even half as dark as the AE GUI is today.

It’s been eleven years since I first released my free Flavours “Post Pro 1.2 theme.” It was bundled along with hundreds of other user themes in their final release of Flavours 2.0. Unfortunately Flavours only went as far as Mac OS X Mavericks. Moving past Mavericks Apple tightened up the core system files causing theming to be impossible. So, we waited, and waited, and eventually in 2018 Apple released Mojave with a true Dark Mode. Better late than never, I guess.

Celebrating the OG Ex-Disney Animator Rebel Don Bluth 🗡️ 🔥 🐉

PSA: when I posted this I was unaware of the overnight attacks. I want to be clear that me talking about any sort of war was not tied to any predictive or political stance I may have. My heart is with everyone now, regardless of their beliefs, cultures, pantheons, and anything else some choose to wield to divide us. We cannot be divided by any means. We are all in this together whether we want to admit that or not. As I’ve said before, self-serving dictators divide and conquer, and beloved leaders unite and unify.

This video follows the historical battle between the House of Mouse and Don Bluth, an ex-Disney animator who struck out on his own in 1979 after working for Disney since 1955. What a way to celebrate his 42nd birthday! He decided to go with his gut instincts and pave a path all his own. Bluth’s animation style was visceral, and he did not embrace Disney’s known methods in cutting corners in order to cut production costs. Bluth later went on to offer the first profit-sharing venture to his 160 animators who brought The Secret of NIMH to life.

Bluth is known as a true OG animation rebel, and in that vein he brought his spirit to his films and video games alike. His company, Don Bluth Entertainment, formerly Don Bluth Productions, was well-known and received accolades for his studio’s contributions to animated films. During the 1980s they battled it out with Disney with their cherished films The Secret of NIMH, An American Tail, The Land Before Time, All Dogs Go to Heaven, Thumbelina, Anastasia, and Titan A.E. Bluth’s video games Dragon’s Lair and Space Ace rocked my world.

One of my fondest memories was in 1983 once I had mastered Dragon’s Lair. For just 50 cents I’d embark on a 30-minute adventure surrounded by twenty onlookers cheering me on at every move. Once I became a Dad my daughter and I played Dragon’s Lair on my iPhone 5S. That was my most celebrated playing the game watching the excitement build in her eyes as we chased down the game’s baddies and eventually arrived in the dragon’s lair, grabbing the magic sword, slaying Singe, and rescuing Princess Daphne.

Bounce Back

We are never too old, too late, and the clock is not ticking. Consider bouncing back as your second coming unless, like me, you’re on your third or thirteenth. I remind myself each day it’s not a race. It’s love.

Happy Friday 🔴 Thank you Michelle for giving me this enlightening book after my severe manic episode in the summer of 2017 while working at Turner Broadcasting NBA TV Design. I hadn’t slept in a week. Be well.